I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
