You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
