can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
