Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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