So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
