Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
