GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How does one acquire holy water?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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