You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize