wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
