I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
