Do you still have your period?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
