WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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