He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize