i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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