I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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