I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
