I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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