He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
