who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
