we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
