dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
