he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
