Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
