people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
