so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
