I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
