I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
