she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
