youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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