he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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