just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
