Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry iamone223 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

(785): View more from Kansas

you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

Fav 37 1239 4036
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

Fav 8 953 3280
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something

Fav 24 4095 1245
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

Fav 7 1158 612
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit

Fav 5 119 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT