Christians are straight up FREAKS
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
