I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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