You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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