Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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