Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
