discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
