What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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