roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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