Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
