ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
