Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
