sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
