I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize