There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
