Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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