at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
