plz talk dirty to me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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