Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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