just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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