You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
