dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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