Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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