I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
