We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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