Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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