Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
