It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
