Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
