oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
be right there i have to get my cape
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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