Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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