Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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