I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize