I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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