You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
