I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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