So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
