you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
