so that wasnt chicken after all
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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