our cab driver is having phone sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
