I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We left the knife in your bed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
